Fluid

We've got to stay fluid.  I've got to stay fluid.

I made a video I wanted to share with you.

It was some improvising I did on the keyboard.  It was called "Me, Jesus and the Moon".  The instructions were to spin the knob on the keyboard that set the sound (organ, piano, guitar, drum kit, etc etc) and then to spontaneously play a little improv that was specifically inspired by the sound of that setting.  The goal was to notice how your instant composition style would be quite different depending on the quality of the sound. The goal was to put myself out there.  The goal was to work on improvisation in a medium that was not my primary (sound instead of movement).  The goal was to go with it and perhaps to inspire whoever watched it to follow their creativity, to play, to fuck up, to be surprised at how well they could navigate the unknown, to stop being so fearful, precious and protective of their shit and their ego.

The video was 10 minutes long, but I edited it down to about 4 minutes to "save time" for the viewer.  I figured at that short length, it still achieved its purpose without losing its essence.

And for whatever god damn reason I can't upload it off my iPad.  Maybe my internet connection is fucked tonight.  Youtube kept sending me into a pit of privacy bullshit that I could not get out of.

So here I am.  No video, but I can still send out my message.

My message is to PLAY.  My message is to DO IT.  To stay fluid and true to your essence.  There will be no compensation for selling out or holding off.  You will waste your life trying to be perfect or waiting until you are better.

And at each moment, I think about deleting this.  First I wanted to delete my video, now I want to delete this, but why?  Because it is not worthy?  What is worthy?  Who is worthy?  How can I live that way or support that way of thinking, even in my own head?  Everyone is worthy and nobody is worthy.  Nothing matters and therefore everything matters.  We will all die.  Our energy will keep on.  This is all a certainty.  The rest is a game, a roll of the dice, a shuffling of cards, a kiss and a slap in the face, a goodnight and a good morning and may I have some coffee please.....  All you've got are these moments, one less every second...

I guess it's easier to stay trapped in the day to day, the measurables, the acceptables, the controllables.... the illusions.

And, no, I'm not so free yet either.  I aspire... sometimes.  I have not a death wish, nor do I have an eternal life on Earth wish.   I have a wish for things to flow freely with less self doubt, with less self-censoring, with more unconditional love and acceptance, with more room for individuality....  Sometimes I go out and try to spread this message with my words or my actions or my energy.  Sometimes it feels too scary and unacceptable so I make my crazy videos and write here.  Maybe one person will read.  Maybe one person will do something a little differently.  Maybe not.  But instead of deleting this, I posted it.... and that is my work, my challenge, my way.

Before and Again

I like to move
To talk
To watch your firecracker mouth go off

I like the way you skitter and skid
On and off
In and out
Surprising yourself all the while

I will watch, won't I?
How about I just watch?
How about I focus and simply do the task at hand?
What is the task at hand?

It's all double-sided mirrors
I just slip 'em and flip 'em
Just like you

What's good or not?
Fuck all

I see you teeter
Between sense and nonsense
A sinking ship that never goes down
What divine and incessant excitement

You want my focus
I want your chaos
Let's make a mess

I try to forget everything that's been said
Before and Again


9/9/15

What Does That Mean?

When I began this blog over 6 years ago, I was very specific with my intention.  I was making a dance per day and I wanted a place to post the video each day.  My goal for myself was to successfully complete this task each day.  My hope for my "audience" was that they may engage with my work differently just as I was.  I was heavily sharing process to help myself get away from a sense of preciousness, product and perfectionism about art and making art.  It was also a chance for the viewer to be something other than a consumer.

Eventually, I was done with my dance-a-day project, but I was still interested in blogging.  I did not want to start a new blog because I appreciate the continuum that I can reflect by keeping the same blog.  At that point, I changed the name to (Was) Daily Dances because it was.  For quite some time, the blog remained focused on dance/movement.

From April 2014-April 2015, I did not touch the blog.  I was indeed still dancing and creating, but the blog was temporarily irrelevant to my process.

When I came back to blog in April 2015, the idea of only posting dance was ridiculous and impossible as that would in no way would reflect my creative life.  However, I was done changing the title of the blog.  This was also more in line with my way of approaching art and life... not to obsess about the words, but to trust and allow the essence to come through.  Really, the blog is about improvisation and thus about life, so anything goes here now.  As time passes, everything is fusing for me:  art, life, philosophy, spirituality, sexuality, creativity, love, work, play, poetry, photography, music, movement ...

So, that's a long(ass) intro to the reason I am writing this entry.

In the heading of this blog, way back when, I wrote:

 I INVITE AND WELCOME YOU TO BE A PARTICIPANT (RATHER THAN A "VIEWER" OR A "CRITIC"). I INVITE YOU TO QUESTION YOUR OWN PERCEPTIONS AND VALUES AS MUCH AS MINE.

Yesterday, my friend asked me how one can be a participant rather than a "viewer" or a "critic".  He had some interesting thoughts about how things shift when something is observed, that the thing that is happening is actually changed by the fact that it is being observed (science has indeed measured this).  Another idea of his was about how the audience is part of the environment that the performer must navigate and thus is an active part of the performance situation.  While I don't disagree with these ideas, I had something else in mind.

When we watch a performance or look at art, I think the first thing we do is have our natural response.  Then we may articulate what we liked or didn't like about how the artist shaped time/space/light/topic/etc etc.  I think we may sit comfortably and quietly in our seat with our value systems.  What I was hoping for and inviting the "audience" to do was to notice their ability to shape and shift themselves and how they relate to the artist and the work... to be inside and outside the work and also to be inside and outside of themselves... what is is about them that makes the work appear as it does.. everything from how you position your body in relation to the art .... to how you position your mind and your soul... Thus perhaps you are not only learning and experiencing the artist and the art, but you are also experiencing yourself as part of it.  You see what you see partially because of what the artist did but also because of what your eyes and your brain did with the information.  There is a continuum and you are on it.

I wonder if that makes any sense to you.  Sometimes things are so clear in my mind that I have no idea if I have said or done enough to articulate what I mean ...  especially with these things called words.....

All the Words

I don't want to talk and no, I don't want to explain.
I want to let the words sit,
Steep them in silence,
Let them resonate or echo, but no, I don't want to add any more.
Each one is less necessary than the one before.

For if you sit in a softness and silence,
In a fearless moment of reception,
All the words, past and future will float away,
And none will be missed at all.

10/7/15
6pm
4JDM