In the Water

It's been a while since I have written here.  As of late, I have been thinking about the different voices I use when communicating on social media.  I am aware that I have adopted at least one that is different from my real voice.  It's odd to notice this as it was unintentional.  I think this voice tries to be more accessible, a little lighter than my real voice.  I'm not sure I like it.  I think it was a reaction to feeling like my intensity might deter some people.  I hope to resume writing from a more confident, straight-forward lizroncka voice.  However, I also accept that sometimes we change whether we like it or not.  Sometimes we need a little more cushion, more buffer, more protection and so we shift to continue in more comfortable or sustainable way.  Perhaps forcefully trying to speak from a voice I had before is not possible.  Perhaps that voice is not available to you or me at this time.  Perhaps simply bringing awareness to this observation is enough to elicit change.... in me, in you.  But this is not what I sat down to write about except that I did.  And now this:


This morning as I was speed-scrolling through Facebook, I saw a photo of a shoreline.  This led me to thinking about the ocean.  On Sunday mornings, it's very common for me to ponder "life".  It's usually the only day I do not go to work and have time to just sit and let my mind wander.  Living alone and being single also affords me some very open, peaceful time to sit with my questions and ideas.  Today I was thinking about how life is very much like being in the ocean, yet our sensibilities and our way of experiencing each is often quite different.  I suppose it is from my movement practices that I am very aware of the power of imagery and analogy in shifting how one moves/behaves/experiences a situation.  Thus reflecting on life as being in the ocean offered me some insight.

We are in life just as when we are in the water.  We are submerged, surrounded, enveloped.  It moves us and we move it.  When we move through the water with intention, it is also moving us, shifting us slightly, or even powerfully, from the direction we were headed.  We know this. We compensate.  We tune in.  We know it is inevitable, that the tide is moving us.

In the ocean, we are not in charge and we know it. We are constantly navigating and negotiating, aware of the power of the water.  It continues to move us.  Even when we let go and float or sink, it moves us.  When we stop trying to move, we move anyway.

This is true in life too.  We may think we have stopped.  We are doing nothing, but it is not true.  Our mere existence is causing movement, change, action.  Even if we just lay in bed.  Somewhere something is happening, whether a thought, an action, conscious or unconscious, something is happening because we are there in that bed.

In the ocean, things float by.  They float to us and away.  They come and go easily, moved by the water.  It's almost impossible to hold onto something in the water.  In the water, the different physical nature of things becomes incredible apparent.  You float and move smoothly, your clothes get heavy and cling, dragging you down.  Another body floats and moves differently in the water.  No two things behave the same way in water.  So true in life as well.

And in life and the ocean, the vastness is inconceivable.  What is creeping along the ocean floor, 100 years old, just a few feet below your twinkly little toes?  You'll never know.  What will float by you later today?

And when you get out of the water, the water you displaced moves and causes a change.  Your absence matters.

The Corner of Each Other's Eyes

He speaks of equity.  He speaks in French.  He means equality.  He means we are equal in our vulnerability and in our ambivalence.  He means our hearts belong to no one, but we love many.  He means we are both broken.  Suffer less.  Shuffle the cards.  We have mastered our poker faces, our sleight of hand, our smoke and mirrors.  We juggle and slide between disguise and recognition.  We both look back and smile as if those photos were of someone else.  We smile and hold hands while we bury our hearts six feet under, secretly relieved.  We breath deep, our lungs expand, filling in the gap in our chests.  We walk forward, separately, but remain in the corner of each other's eye.


*when i write, i often jump off from something in real life... an event, a phrase.. a feeling. however, i always let the creation take off and go its own way, easily and often veering from the "truth".  the art has a life of its own, its own truth.  it is not history or a mere record or reflection, it is its own.  i may refer to someone or a situation in my life, but i let it go where it wishes.

The Stew of Fact and Fiction

I'm going to write every word of every story that lingers
Whatever part of whichever one of you resonates or rots in the Refrigerator of my mind heart soul
Soup and sugar bowl

I'll let the truth and imagination bounce and bubble over and serve the Stew of fact and fiction
A memory that serves the illusion needed to carry on
The baton
Of your ego

To make you go go
Go away
Across the valley of your pain

Marching on
Parading and plundering
Thundering thoughts of things
You had and lost
By choice and chance

Dance, dance she said
But you couldn't hear
Your ears broken and bashed by the falseness of your past

Busted membranes letting all the air out
While you choked choked choked
On your forgotten hope

mouth full of mirrors

how many times have you said those words?
how can you stand to utter them again?
getting yourself all jacked up on dreams and drugs
just to do another lap around the block
sshh sshhh shhhhh
shut your mouth full of mirrors
and swallow the glass

Inside/Outside

For the last 15 years, one of the most important ideas in my practice of improvisation has been the idea that one must be inside herself and the improvisation as well as outside of it. One must pay attention to what one is experiencing in their own body/mind/soul as well as what is happening within the piece (with the other dancers, musicians, the space itself) as well as what the audience is seeing/experiencing.  It requires a sort of dual presence and awareness.  In the beginning, this was a difficult task and sometimes still is, but overall over time, it has become easier and often automatic.

I began teaching improvisation 5 years ago and this has been a skill that I have emphasized in class as well.

The longer I practice improvisation, the more the skills I practice in the studio and onstage enter my everyday life.  This feels both natural and correct.  I am not interested in being one person when I am improvising/making art and one person in my "real" life.  However, there are fewer rules and expectations in my creative world than in everyday societal life.  There are so many ways that we are expected to act and behave in our social interactions.  It is not my goal to rebel against social behaviors simply for the sake of doing so, yet sometimes I feel the more fluid, improvisational part of myself out in social situations.  I sense, I intuit, I adapt and adjust based on what I am feeling and observing.  Sometimes this is done without discussion or verbal acknowledgment.  For me, it can feel both necessary and obvious when perhaps it is not to others.  Also in improv, we allow ourselves to slip seamlessly from being inside our self and out, to follow impulse and urge, to respond to the strong and clear parts of our self.  While we foster our awareness and ability to shift from one perspective to another, we also sharpen our connection to our self.  We learn to sense and act with quick trust of impulse.  We switch from intellect to animal in a second.We hone our ability to shift and act without hesitation or doubt.  If you are less tuned, it can feel like a fast and unpredictable dance, but for those who have been developing these skills, it is sharp shooting.  While we learn to shift, we also sense continuity of theme and essence.  Something remains true, clear and intentional throughout.  While we sculpt details we remain aware of the big picture.

Recently I have had some moments of pause and reflection about some of my actions in my personal life.  As others have questioned my behavior, I have stopped to think about how and why I do what I do.  My understanding is that my practice of improvisation has extended to all moments of my life.  It is not possible, nor do I wish it to be possible, to have one brain and body when I am in the studio and one brain and body when I am not.  I am always alive.  I am always improvising.  Different parts of me and my awareness may burn stronger or weaker at different times, but it is all always there.  As I said, it is not my intention to push things for the sake of pushing them, but it is my wish to live in a full, sensitive and free way as much as possible.  I do not say that this is THE WAY to be or that others SHOULD live this way.  I am simply being true to myself as I wish everyone to be.  Ego still exists, emotions still exist but so does one's ability to shift and take space and observe from the outside.  What we observe from inside is so strong because of all the thoughts, feeling and sensations in our own body and then all the ways we feel because we connect to another being in a specific way, yet there is also a more objective witness that we are capable of being.  I find the most rich experience is when I take time to visit all of these perspectives.  In a hot second, I very well am just in one, but with pause and openness I may be able to visit many different perspectives.  I may be able to learn and experience much more by shifting perspectives.  Indeed, I may return to my most personal and internal experience and act from that place, but for me, it is worth stepping out and seeing what can be experienced from another part of my awareness.

It's a strange walk through life as we dilate our senses and take some distance from ourselves... perhaps even overwhelming.  Yet I would never wish to shrink back to operating within a smaller sphere for safety or acceptance.  Sometimes I get pushed back so hard, that I sit on the floor for a while and wonder what the fuck just happened, but then I get up and get back on my path.  I ask my questions, take my risks, sometimes I get slapped in the face or  walked away from, but mostly I have damn interesting dances through my days.

I am an improvisor.

Before Fire Ate What Darkness Hid

For a moment, there's a flicker of hesitation
A breath of what-will-happen-if
No sooner do I exhale than I've done it

I've pulled the pin
Flipped the switch
Watching with excitement
Tail twitching
I wait for the flame to catch

A hot glow of fire
To illuminate the space
For just one second
Just once glimpse of
What was hidden in darkness

Everything will burn
Everyone will perish
But for one second
I'll see what it was like
Before fire ate what darkness hid.

Fluid

We've got to stay fluid.  I've got to stay fluid.

I made a video I wanted to share with you.

It was some improvising I did on the keyboard.  It was called "Me, Jesus and the Moon".  The instructions were to spin the knob on the keyboard that set the sound (organ, piano, guitar, drum kit, etc etc) and then to spontaneously play a little improv that was specifically inspired by the sound of that setting.  The goal was to notice how your instant composition style would be quite different depending on the quality of the sound. The goal was to put myself out there.  The goal was to work on improvisation in a medium that was not my primary (sound instead of movement).  The goal was to go with it and perhaps to inspire whoever watched it to follow their creativity, to play, to fuck up, to be surprised at how well they could navigate the unknown, to stop being so fearful, precious and protective of their shit and their ego.

The video was 10 minutes long, but I edited it down to about 4 minutes to "save time" for the viewer.  I figured at that short length, it still achieved its purpose without losing its essence.

And for whatever god damn reason I can't upload it off my iPad.  Maybe my internet connection is fucked tonight.  Youtube kept sending me into a pit of privacy bullshit that I could not get out of.

So here I am.  No video, but I can still send out my message.

My message is to PLAY.  My message is to DO IT.  To stay fluid and true to your essence.  There will be no compensation for selling out or holding off.  You will waste your life trying to be perfect or waiting until you are better.

And at each moment, I think about deleting this.  First I wanted to delete my video, now I want to delete this, but why?  Because it is not worthy?  What is worthy?  Who is worthy?  How can I live that way or support that way of thinking, even in my own head?  Everyone is worthy and nobody is worthy.  Nothing matters and therefore everything matters.  We will all die.  Our energy will keep on.  This is all a certainty.  The rest is a game, a roll of the dice, a shuffling of cards, a kiss and a slap in the face, a goodnight and a good morning and may I have some coffee please.....  All you've got are these moments, one less every second...

I guess it's easier to stay trapped in the day to day, the measurables, the acceptables, the controllables.... the illusions.

And, no, I'm not so free yet either.  I aspire... sometimes.  I have not a death wish, nor do I have an eternal life on Earth wish.   I have a wish for things to flow freely with less self doubt, with less self-censoring, with more unconditional love and acceptance, with more room for individuality....  Sometimes I go out and try to spread this message with my words or my actions or my energy.  Sometimes it feels too scary and unacceptable so I make my crazy videos and write here.  Maybe one person will read.  Maybe one person will do something a little differently.  Maybe not.  But instead of deleting this, I posted it.... and that is my work, my challenge, my way.

Before and Again

I like to move
To talk
To watch your firecracker mouth go off

I like the way you skitter and skid
On and off
In and out
Surprising yourself all the while

I will watch, won't I?
How about I just watch?
How about I focus and simply do the task at hand?
What is the task at hand?

It's all double-sided mirrors
I just slip 'em and flip 'em
Just like you

What's good or not?
Fuck all

I see you teeter
Between sense and nonsense
A sinking ship that never goes down
What divine and incessant excitement

You want my focus
I want your chaos
Let's make a mess

I try to forget everything that's been said
Before and Again


9/9/15

What Does That Mean?

When I began this blog over 6 years ago, I was very specific with my intention.  I was making a dance per day and I wanted a place to post the video each day.  My goal for myself was to successfully complete this task each day.  My hope for my "audience" was that they may engage with my work differently just as I was.  I was heavily sharing process to help myself get away from a sense of preciousness, product and perfectionism about art and making art.  It was also a chance for the viewer to be something other than a consumer.

Eventually, I was done with my dance-a-day project, but I was still interested in blogging.  I did not want to start a new blog because I appreciate the continuum that I can reflect by keeping the same blog.  At that point, I changed the name to (Was) Daily Dances because it was.  For quite some time, the blog remained focused on dance/movement.

From April 2014-April 2015, I did not touch the blog.  I was indeed still dancing and creating, but the blog was temporarily irrelevant to my process.

When I came back to blog in April 2015, the idea of only posting dance was ridiculous and impossible as that would in no way would reflect my creative life.  However, I was done changing the title of the blog.  This was also more in line with my way of approaching art and life... not to obsess about the words, but to trust and allow the essence to come through.  Really, the blog is about improvisation and thus about life, so anything goes here now.  As time passes, everything is fusing for me:  art, life, philosophy, spirituality, sexuality, creativity, love, work, play, poetry, photography, music, movement ...

So, that's a long(ass) intro to the reason I am writing this entry.

In the heading of this blog, way back when, I wrote:

 I INVITE AND WELCOME YOU TO BE A PARTICIPANT (RATHER THAN A "VIEWER" OR A "CRITIC"). I INVITE YOU TO QUESTION YOUR OWN PERCEPTIONS AND VALUES AS MUCH AS MINE.

Yesterday, my friend asked me how one can be a participant rather than a "viewer" or a "critic".  He had some interesting thoughts about how things shift when something is observed, that the thing that is happening is actually changed by the fact that it is being observed (science has indeed measured this).  Another idea of his was about how the audience is part of the environment that the performer must navigate and thus is an active part of the performance situation.  While I don't disagree with these ideas, I had something else in mind.

When we watch a performance or look at art, I think the first thing we do is have our natural response.  Then we may articulate what we liked or didn't like about how the artist shaped time/space/light/topic/etc etc.  I think we may sit comfortably and quietly in our seat with our value systems.  What I was hoping for and inviting the "audience" to do was to notice their ability to shape and shift themselves and how they relate to the artist and the work... to be inside and outside the work and also to be inside and outside of themselves... what is is about them that makes the work appear as it does.. everything from how you position your body in relation to the art .... to how you position your mind and your soul... Thus perhaps you are not only learning and experiencing the artist and the art, but you are also experiencing yourself as part of it.  You see what you see partially because of what the artist did but also because of what your eyes and your brain did with the information.  There is a continuum and you are on it.

I wonder if that makes any sense to you.  Sometimes things are so clear in my mind that I have no idea if I have said or done enough to articulate what I mean ...  especially with these things called words.....

All the Words

I don't want to talk and no, I don't want to explain.
I want to let the words sit,
Steep them in silence,
Let them resonate or echo, but no, I don't want to add any more.
Each one is less necessary than the one before.

For if you sit in a softness and silence,
In a fearless moment of reception,
All the words, past and future will float away,
And none will be missed at all.

10/7/15
6pm
4JDM

(Not A) Soft-Serve Ice cream Twist

    image excerpted from video collaboraton with John Manson


I originally wrote this on July 2, 2015. I just let it sit around, but the photo above reminded me again of my feelings about different types of collaborations, so it's time to expand and share.

There are good collaborations and there are great collaborations.  Who do you collaborate with and why?  You like somebody's work, they like yours, you needed a musician and so-and-so was available..... who knows!?!  Some reasons are better than others and a lot has to do with chance.

The majority of my creative work has been collaborative.  As an improvisor this seems quite inevitable.  Any improvisation is collaborative..since each person involved is contributing her/his own ideas rather than executing the choreographer's or composer's score.

For me, a great collaboration is one that goes beyond one talented artist contributing her stuff and combining it with another talented artist's stuff.   This "stuff" could be dance with music, a model with a photographer or painter, a singer with a pianist, etc.  The image that came to me for an average "good" collaboration is a soft-serve ice cream twist.  You see the chocolate and the vanilla separately, you taste each, but that's that.

In a great collaboration, the vanilla isn't vanilla anymore and the chocolate isn't chocolate.  In a great collaboration, something absolutely new comes out of each artist because of the presence, energy and essence of the other artist.  It is not a hybrid, it is something distinctly "other".  Of course an artist has their style and technique, so it may not be that the artist does something that is unrecognizable, but the artist goes outside of their domain or does something different within their own domain because of the essence and presence of the other artist.  The artist is at least slightly changed by the presence of the other.  As the participating collaborative artist, your approach and contribution of "your part" is different than if you had created in the presence of another. When it is at its best, each artist's strengths are magnified and this births something more powerful than either artist working independently.   This is exciting.  This is the alchemy of collaboration and this is the kind of collaboration to perpetuate.  A new work is created and each artist has discovered something new about her/himself as well as his medium.  The work created also reflects this new territory and awareness.  While the experience and knowledge remains with each individual afterward,  the full manifestation of it requires the presence of both creators.

Much love and gratitude to all my collaborators throughout the years.  Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's great, but it is always worthwhile.

With Silence Instead

There's a certain staccato hiccup
Pickup
Stick-up
That happens
That makes one pause and wonder
Under
What circumstance would this all make sense
And adopt it

And adopt some children to make it all make
Sense-Lest
We have to continue our charade
To prove the worthiness of our non-breeding bodies
Taking up space and heat

We are useless and feel it in our aging gametes

We move fast to forget
We find other lost things to nurture:
3-legged cats, divorcees, widows and parts of ourselves and others
That have been abandoned

We fill in the blanks
But still live in the column on the side of the page

We are the last ones
Chosen
In confusion
After all
You might still guess right

Towels thrown in
We think we don't care anymore
Yet there's still a sting sometimes
A soft spot that still pulses
So tiny and fragile you must not touch it

Caress with your eyes
Let your tongue slide gently around the words
Hold it with silence instead.

And The Cat Replied ...

Where do we go from here?
She thought
As she lay on the bed
With her 3-legged cat

And the cat replied
Where we always go
Nowhere

Touché, my furry friend

Let's nap in front of the window
Warmed by the sun
Tickled by the wind
To dream the day away

Flip the Not to the Am

Lately I have been thinking more about how the way I live my life and what I teach and practice in improvisation relate to each other.  Sometime they mirror, sometimes they contradict, sometimes I am capable of something in one area and not the other.

Today I am pondering the topic of "breaking habits".  I immediately want to rename this as "expanding one's repertoire".  They sound very different and I believe they bring up a different energy, different associations, feelings, etc   I have much more success in this area in my artistic life than my other life.

Earlier in my dance life, sometimes the first thing I would do in this situation is to try to stop doing something.  "I'm not going to keep going down to the floor."    "I'm going to stop turning on my right side only".   But I quickly became aware that I was so busy focusing on what not to do that I was not very aware of what I was doing.   There is a certain loss of presence, flow and continuity when we concern ourselves with not doing something.  The essence is not clear or perhaps not even present because we are in the negative.   In my improv class I refer to this as "negative dancing" and it's quite obvious from the inside and out that something is missing and lost.

I could go on about what I teach next and the various things we can do instead of this "negative dancing", but this entry was not motivated by dance but by some recent experiences in my life when I found myself acting in a way in which I was attempting to "not do" something.   This was unsustainable and rather deadening to my spirit.  The energy of it was lost, the sense of play and creativity, of evolution and life.  So today as the improvisation of my day begins, I bear this in mind.  Follow the flow, the essence.  Expand the repertoire.  Engage in the experience.  Flip the Not to the Am.

Fuck the Patriarch

Fuck the Patriarch

The hand that fed you and
The hand that did not hold yours
Once you stopped being three feet tall

The awkward hand that knew nothing of
Gentleness or care

The broken-hearted hand that held a beer
And gave you a sip
A nasty bitter taste
That still sours your mouth

It's all about my da da
Daddy doo doo
Who fucked you over
And me too

Sloppy, scary cigarettes and secrets
Muttered curses and twisted faces
I steeled myself and did my daughterly duties
Took it and took it and took it
Til the day I broke and so did everything else

Christmas Day

In another nasty and senseless rage
Spitting and snarling in my face
I dared you to hit me
Right there in the middle of the living room
With the whole family to watch your anger win

The room went into a swirl
Bodies moving forward and back
Brothers stepping in
Sisters shuffling the little ones away
Smoothing and shuffling and smoothing.

Fall in line.
Shut your mouth and sit down at the table.
Shut your mouth and eat your dinner.
Shut your mouth and shut your mouth and shut your fucking mouth.

Time Moves With or Without Me

This entry is off the cuff... like the old days, written on the spot and un-edited.  Or so I say as I begin writing it.....

I always push forward.  Push for new, push for now.  Maybe "push" is not the right word because it doesn't take force.... but I do often value what is new and now more than what is old or of the past.

Today I am stopping for a moment and looking back because I am reminded of how rich our past is... how much of who we are is who we were.  I remember old art, old hair-dos, old loves, old passions.  There is so much there.  And looking back actually reflects a great deal about the present and not just in a shitty way.

It's an important moment for me:  to stop renouncing the past and driving forward as if my life depended on it.  Time moves with or without me.  I can look forward, back or just out my eyeballs.  It doesn't matter.  I am, regardless.   So, I soften and remember so many marvelous joys and pains, jokes and bullshit.  It has been rich and it still is.

Stand on Your Head/This is not The Not

Where is it?

Where's the song, where's the dance,
Where's the joke in this?

Where's the art, the poetry,
The hook-line-and sinker?

I turn it around and around,
Inside out
Upside down

And there's nothing
And in this nothingness is everything
That I fail to see
Because confusion and chaos is so blurry to me

Maybe if I spin faster I can match it
Spin my head so fast it will make sense
But what is the sense?
There's none to be had

Perhaps I could enjoy the fall if I wasn't looking for the bottom?

And if I let go of the bottom,
Then I am floating,
Ever suspended.

This is not the In-Between
This is not The Not
This Is

I run around the empty room,
Trying to escape the space
Faster and faster
But it surrounds me,
Corners me,
Envelopes me

All my talk is cheap and garbled.

My own words bounce off the walls,
Gently pelting my face
With the light sting of sleet
No sooner do they strike,
They melt

And what if I sat,
I know that I could
Still
In the midst

Let it rain down
Everything falling at once
I'd still be here
Falling too

Let it drip
Sink
Fall
Splash
Splatter

There's no bottom
No bottom
So you won't hit

Stand on your head
And fall the other way

The beginning
The end
It's all a mirage
And endless loop

Haven't you seen how it repeats?

The angle of the sun makes everything look different
But it's not

You're not falling
You're floating
Just stand on your head

Impossible Things

I sit on the edge of the garden

Just before the infamous golden hour

The sprinkler turns on 

And the birds come for a drink

I watch the water hit the wood

First the drops evaporate almost immediately

Barely a trace after a moment or two

But as the wood cools and the drops continue to fall,

It soaks in 

The water pools

The wood is wet

I watch the water spurt out of the sprinkler head

Glistening in the sunlight

I think of you

Snapping photos in the dark

Flash in hand

Trying to capture the movement of water

In an instant

Knowingly or unknowingly,

The man fascinated

By impossible things.

A Midsummer's Night Improvisation

A Midsummer's Night with Kaethe Hostetter and Liz Roncka from liz roncka on Vimeo.


Violin:  Kaethe Hostetter
Movement:  Liz Roncka

Green Street Studios
Cambridge, MA
August 8, 2015

To Practice the Practice ....

To practice the practice, I have to write this right now.  I may not know what I am saying or agree with it later, but I must skim those thoughts off the surface and say what needs to be said before the moment passes and it escapes.  Yes, this urgency is present but there need not be stress.  Consider urgency to be a matter of speed rather than stress, experience need as desire and remember you are a witness to all.
Tonight as I lay/lie/laid on the floor, I did not control my mind.  I let it go where it wanted and realized that in my previous improvisational practice, I was controlling it.  I was trying to coax my mind into the sensation of my body.  I was not letting it be free.  I was not letting it do what it wanted and needed to do.  Was there a conflict in my teaching?  What do I really want to teach?  To be present?  Is control necessary for presence?  Am I creating a hierarchy and putting presence above freedom?  Must one choose?  What is presence?  As I remained in an extreme position while stretching, wasn't it necessary to let my mind go where it went?  Perhaps in order to release that part of my body, my mind needed to process the thoughts it was thinking?  Maybe I did not need to feel the weight of my body at that moment?  Maybe I needed to think of that "other" matter?  There were many moments during tonight's session that "other things" were on my mind.  Did that mean I was not present?  Or merely that I am able to be present to many things at one time?  Has my ability to be present expanded so that I may attend to the person moving next to me, while attending to the sensations in my body, while thinking about someone who is not present in the room?  Perhaps I need not judge how far my awareness expands.  As the years of my practicing presence and improvisation add up, as I live in this body, this brain, this consciousness, it makes sense that my ability to perceive, sense, attend to would change and expand.  As I understand that I am not my body and I am not my thoughts only, that I may be constantly surprised how my awareness expands.  Why limit it to the constraints that others may suggest?  Why should my experience and my approach match that of others?  I trust my experience.
From an external perspective, tonight I went to a "dance studio" and "danced".    My "dancing" was the least interesting part of my experience.  Touché.

My Blood Cooling

                                                                                                  Photo by K. Diaz


Your best art is your honesty.  It's your truth that moves me, compels me.

I learned this from the animals.  They know what they need and what they want and they are clear and direct in their pursuit.  I can sit fascinated for hours by their clarity.

It's rare to see this in humans with their busy brains.  A thousand thoughts thinking.

It's your softness that softens me.  It's your openness that opens me.  It's your trust, vulnerability and willingness to feel that makes me feel.

I'm not so interested in your artfully woven cover-ups, your carefully constructed compositions of confidentiality.  While my brain twirls around your confetti of complications with agility, my heart sits waiting, my blood cooling.

On July 12, 2015, I ....

"We are incredibly excited to welcome two new artists into Miranda’s Hearth for our July Dinner, Art, + Music night

Performing artist and movement educator, Liz Roncka, will share her philosophy and personal practice of movement improvisation. Joining her will be sound artist, Jason Sanford. Since 2011, Sanford and Roncka have collaborated to create performance pieces exploring the inter-relationship between dance movement and sonic production.

On July 12, they will introduce you to some of their most recent sound sculpture objects and invite you to participate in a structured movement and sound improvisation exploring these objects. Everyone is warmly welcomed. No dance or musical experience necessary.

Learn more about Liz in #WhatIMake Episode 2 created by John Douglas Manson: http://mirandashearth.com/whatimake-episode-two-liz-roncka/

As always, tickets are $7 or you can get in for free if you bring a potluck dish to share. After Liz and Jason’s presentation, we will have our monthly potluck and jam session."

To visit the actual website, click here.

Please, Please, Please Be an Animal Today

3:30am
(Birds chirping and cheeping.  We've already wondered what they are talking about.)

I scroll around and watch a video that I don't want to watch, but I do too.  I want to see what I'm not missing.
There are gaps here, in these words, for you to fill in with your story and mine.

I'm awake writing, yes, because time is free and time is mine.

And in this video, two figures sing beautifully in black and white.  And soon I'm not interested in the beauty because all I hear is technique.  I watch these bodies move as they sing and I am unmoved.  I see prison and I see fear.  I no longer see beauty in these notes, in these tentative movements.

I want animals and I want souls
I want ecstasy and death
To move through you
And through me

Your animal skin and fur
Your fangs to howl and purr
Your bodies to perch, pounce, lurk
And then rest heavy

You are not on Earth
You are in the earth
Rooted to gravity

The measured pitches are lessons learned in school, a school that made you forget your animal self
You try to find it again
Seeking teachers and gurus to free you to be an animal again

Books and methods
Words and words and words
But, my dear, animals do not read

Take your body to the earth
The dirt, the sea, the bugs
And mucky muck
And feel it on your skin

Notice how you first tighten
Then let yourself release
Feel what you feel as if your life depended on it
Because it does

Then you can writhe and moan
Scamper into the bush
No, do not sit at your human desk with your learned words
Crouch and grunt
Find a safe shadow to sit in and lick your tail

Watch. Sniff.
Thump your hocks and hiss
Sleep safely up high or deep in your nest
Curl up with another animal for warmth
Feel the basic necessity of your actions

Return to your self and your animal body
There is your truth
There is your freedom
There is your essence, your art

Lay yourself down in a sunny spot to rest and heal
Then go find your next meal
Feel the hunger
Sniff your prey
Please, please, please be an animal today.

H20 Sonata

Bibiana Padilla Maltos' H20 Sonata in Two Movements (full version) from MobiusArtistsGroup on Vimeo.

Performed at Mobius on June 27, 2015

Movement Improvisation Documentary by John Manson

I'm delighted to share the mini documentary I have been working on with John Douglas Manson. Here's a quick taste of my approach to improvisation encapsulated in this beautifully crafted video.  Many thanks to John for his time, energy and artistry.  To watch, please click here.

What Does This Photo Have To Do With Improvisation?

An important part of improvisation is seeing and sensing what is there.  Often when we are looking for something, we fail to notice things and appreciate the details of what is there.

I took this picture when I was running along the river.  I was looking out for natural things:  rabbits, hawks, flowers.  The smashed-in television was not what I was looking for.  It did not fit with the sunny Spring day moment I was having.  Perhaps I could have run by that garbage, but it did catch my attention.  That is another important thing:  Make your attention available and notice what catches it.  Allow yourself to respond.  Get closer.  Pause.  Take it in, then let yourself engage:  what specifically interests me?  how do I want to interact with it?

In this case, I was taking a photo, so I needed to decide how to frame it in order to emphasize what attracted me, to illuminate what aspect had power for me.  In this instance,  I wanted to focus on the content, the inside of the tv.  I was not interested in the outer casing that we see all the time.  So, we accentuate the strong details with our choice of how we frame the material.  We can also do this in (dance) improvisation.  We don't necessarily have to make ourself the focal point, but rather choose something bigger or more powerful than ourselves... we make ourselves of service to reveal that something bigger than our little self.   Here, I wanted to accentuate not just the contents but the chaos of the contents, so I let the wires and electrical components dominate the space.

Once you have noticed what catches your attention, followed your curiosity, engaged with the material, framed the situation to emphasize what intrigues you, then what?   Stick around.  Look again.  What else is there?  For me, it wasn't until I went home and looked further at the photo that I noticed the empty nip bottle of Fighting Cock bourbon inside the tv.  What a fabulous little surprise that I had missed. It added another layer to the chaos of the contents and brought another presence into the image.  It added bourbon, the human drinking the bourbon, perhaps while they smashed in the television...or not.  I liked the addition.

So, yes, just when you think you've noticed everything, look again.  See what you see.  There's always more if you are interested..... if you are interested.   And that's a whole other story for next time.

Videography as an Artistic Medium

I'm realizing how much I like video as an artistic medium. I feel it tells the viewer so much about the subject in front of the camera, but also about the person behind the camera. We could perhaps say this about any creative form, but I think everything transmits so quickly through video because it is visual... and we are such visual creatures. Yes, a picture is worth 1,000 words and video is like a picture every second. Also because video is dynamic, we see when and how the attention of the person behind the camera shifts.
This post was inspired by a short video my 74 year old mother took of her garden. As I watched it, I saw the garden but I felt a very clear sense of her presence. I was surprised by how much it translated through the way the filming was handled.
I suppose I also particularly enjoy the way I can feel an artist come through their creation even if the subject matter is quite different than he/she. Technique is important, but only as it serves to allow the artist to articulate his/her individuality.

Matthew Azevedo & Liz Roncka

I especially enjoy the development of the music in this section.  Matt is over in the corner improvising this marvelous sound with my movement.

Improvisation with Sound Artist Matthew Azevedo

Excerpt from 30 minute open score improvisation with sound artist, Matthew Azevedo. Unfortunately, Matt and his set-up were outside camera view.

May 15, 2015

Sensation of the Situation

Improvised Text, Movement and Sound

Liz Roncka & Christophe Delerce

Cambridge, Massachusetts  USA

April 2015

But Now, No More

I had found the frame, but I lost it.
The way to see so I liked what I saw.
But now, no more.

We Were Made for This

Know that you know.  Trust that you know.  We were made for this.  Born to die and built to survive.

Cats, Words and Essence

I woke up knowing that I wanted to write about "essence".  I drank coffee and wandered around my apartment mulling the topic over in my head, trying to figure out the words I wanted to use.  I often find words frustrating since they are only a representation of what I am trying to express.  I am aware that something is lost when I translate a feeling or sensibility into words.


Then I wondered why I switched from posting primarily movement videos in this blog to including more writing.  When I began this blog, I was not teaching improvisation.  Teaching has required me to develop ways to transmit my "knowledge" from inside my mind and body to other people.  Thus words have become very important.  Several years ago, I was interested in knowing how to improvise, in understanding my practice, my method.  Now it is about sharing that knowledge and facilitating others in developing his or her own practice/method.


In order to have clear and powerful relationships, in art or otherwise, we must understand and respect the essence of that which is involved:  the essence of the movement, the essence of the individuals, the essence of the relationships that are present between all that is happening.  The relationships between time and space, between different instruments, different bodies, between the bodies and the environment, between audience and performer, on and on and on.  It could seem overwhelming, but when we use all of our senses and sensibilities, when we open ourselves completely, we can do this.  We are built to do this:  to sense, process, prioritize, respond.  It's a matter of opening, allowing, trusting.  We must notice the details, but not get caught up in them.  We must let our senses be sensors and let our brain integrate and our body execute.  Open, allow, trust.

Of course, there is much to be said about composition, but I believe that the magic comes from the opening and trusting.  This is where the challenge is. Composition is the easy part.

Then two of my cats had a fight and illustrated a great deal about what is essential in the moment.  Meow.

A New Collaboration: Mini-Documentary

It's a new collaborative experience for me:  the creation of a mini-documentary.  In this case, I am the the subject matter,  Liz Roncka/Movement Improvisor.   It's my role to be me.  That sounds simple, but is it?  How to allow transparency, honesty?  How to open yourself and offer yourself as raw material?  It's a challenge and a gift to engage in the process.

When I am creating my own work, I hope to be honest and to offer myself to my audience.  Yet, when I create my work, I make decisions.  I make frames, lenses, costumes and characters to reveal what I want, the way I want.  On some level, I control the situation.    

In this situation, in being the subject of a documentary,  I must surrender.   I must trust.  I must let the film maker be the artist and free myself to be the material.  It is he who will sculpt, frame, compose and extract to reveal his perception of who I am.  I keep reminding myself:  let go, let go, let go.  I stay grounded in my essence and invite myself to release the rest.

I am fortunate to be engaging with a collaborator, John Manson, who is very open and receptive to my thoughts and input, so I feel I can express my preferences and concerns.  However, I must say that I am quite interested in how much I can focus my energy on being present and unguarded and leave the rest to him.  Although we have not worked together before, I have observed his own work as both a performer and photographer and there is a sensibility that resonates with me.  I feel a sense of curiosity and adventure to see what happens.  I feel that my development as an artist and a human hinges on these experiences of engaging and letting go at the same time.

A Look Back at the Beginning

This was the first video and entry to this blog.  At some point, I took down the video because I was having issues with copyright.  It's no longer an issue and I'm happy to share the inauguration of this blog again, nearly 6 years later.

The Original post:

"Here is Dance # 1 of the Dance-a-Day Project. Well, what is that you ask? The Dance-a-Day Project is me, Liz Roncka, creating and videotaping improvised dances on a daily basis. In 2007-2008, I did a similar project of writing a poem a day. It was a prolific and enlightening experience. The intent of this project is to deepen my practice of improvisation. The commitment to and repetition of this process will inevitably lead to the evolution of my work. I am seeking information regarding patterns and themes in my work; my personal responses to the dances; the viewers' responses; what is my technique/my method; what characteristics define my work; where are the blocks; where is the magic; where is the "truth"?!

This project began 4/19/09 and will go on every day until it does not."

The Space Between Separates and Connects

In the Flesh, In the Ether, Across the Ocean

We are not limited to any medium
Not to written words
Or spoken words
Nor to music
Or the dance

We sculpt Time and Space
Always and Everywhere
In the flesh
In the ether
Across the ocean

We are improvisors
We listen and respond
To the necessity of the moment.




(a new poem to an old photograph)

Improvised Piano Duet

Christophe Delerce and Liz Roncka

If You Want to Learn to Improvise, Study with a Cat

Here's an improvised quartet I made with my cats today.  They notice all the golden opportunities and take them, unapologetically.  Obviously, I have more to learn.

"Take the space of this time and place...."

As I said, the medium keeps changing.  Here's an improvisation I did with words on April 5:


Take the space of this time and place.  Forget the past and future.  Again and again.  Useless traps that halt your breath.  Go on.  Don't stop.  Flow forth and forward.  Holding only caused an early death.  Pull all the stops, they're broken anyway.  Push on.  Find the truth of "in between".   In between is all.  There is no here or there.  By the time you know the beginning and the end, the story is already over.

I can tell you this.   You may not understand, but if I tell you That to try to understand This, I've already misrepresented it and myself.  This speed is necessary.  Slower or faster is false advertising, a bastardization of the authentic velocity that is necessary to see things in the proper perspective.

That moment there, when it seemed the lights flickered, was the moment you lost me.  Now it's just you wondering exactly what happened when the lights went out.... and everything changed.

There isn't a moment to pull back, to pull out, that isn't too late.  No pause or replay without perverting all that was revealed.  Later, all is just a memory... the Now of the Then, but certainly not the Now of the Now.  

Just take it as it comes, in its most perfect form.  Let Desire and Fear be unto themselves, no need to stick them and mesh them with that which they are not.  Keep yourself free as well, it's the only way You Are.

Simplicity and Clarity

Christophe Delerce and Liz Roncka


There are two things that I particularly appreciate about this excerpt:

1)  The clarity of our timing.  This has been the focus of my improvisation class lately and it certainly came through here.  I often think that as movers, we are inclined to prioritize Space over Time.  In my own practice and in my teaching, I emphasize the importance of sculpting time as well. This is not the exclusive job of the music or the musician, but the mover must also accept this responsibility.

2)  Simplicity.  We make very simple and clear choices both in Time and in Space.  I feel there is often a strong drive to do more/move more/play more and to be complex in what we do.  Whenever I stop and watch from the outside, I am reminded of the power of Simplicity.

It has been nearly a year since I have posted in my blog.  When inspiration comes, I take it, so here I am.

My blog is just over 6 years old.  I should not let it die now, now should I?  And how much does it take to keep it alive??   Well, here is just one puff of air.

Today I thought this, wrote this when asking myself "why":

"The process, the practice is constant. The medium keeps changing. There are fewer projects as I am absorbed in the continuum. It's everything, all of the time. To break it down into pieces and parts with names and descriptions feels like a disruption of the flow."

I originally started blogging during my "Dance-a-day" project in which I made a dance improvisation every day and posted it on my blog.  After around 113 days, I stopped.  I decided to keep the blog even after the project.  Over the years, I have made entries less and less.  However, a catalog of my work does not exist anywhere.  While this blog is absolutely incomplete, it probably offers more in one place than any other source of my "artistic" work.  I really don't like this word "artistic" and quite frankly, I don't like the word "art" anymore, but ..... fuck that, for now.

So, lots of art has been made since my last entry in April 2014.  Perhaps I will share some of that work now or perhaps we will just allow for this gap.